As I sit in the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport at 5:50 in the morning I ponder back to my childhood. The days when we would pack up the family suburban and travel like a real American family, on the road. These trips were before portable movie players, in car refrigerators and captain’s chairs. Yup, it was rough going, well it was without a Gameboy at least. One of my most profound gaming experiences came on a road trip to the genesis of my childhood, Space Camp. After a considerable bit of saving and forgone Christmas presents, my best friend and I set off for Space Camp. Our only savior was my best friend’s Gameboy, which, I won’t hesitate to say, I played quite a bit more then him, stealing it when he fell asleep and somehow talking my way into more playtime.

No game since then has had the profound sense of escapism that I found when I flicked the switch on, adjusted to the appropriate viewing angle, and held my breathe that the batteries would hold out, then the little blue cartridge that could…Pokemon Blue. Now up until that point in my life early Nintendo games, and even the quite immersive Super Metroid had stimulated my mind, but nothing could have prepared me for the arduous, addictive, and engrossing game play that Pokemon presented.

I was no longer in a beige and crème 1986 GMC Suburban; instead I was transported to a world where my expectations of reality were shattered. Yes this may sound a bit deep for what it actually was, a grind fest hardcore JRPG, but at the time the simplistic yet satisfying game play was in a league of its own. As I grew older my taste in games changed but Pokemon remained a constant.

Being a Pokemon fan has become increasingly difficult, as the years have passed. What started and became one of the best selling game franchises in history has become so cluttered spin off games I could have sworn Square-Enix owned the series rights. At first I played along, Pokemon Snap, as confirmed by my recent VC download, is still awesome and even though it is a re-skinned Planet Puzzle League/Panel de Pon, Pokemon Puzzle League is still an amazing game, but the buck stops there.

My hatred of the Pokemon Games began with Coliseum and any game since that has brought Pokemon battles from 2d into the third dimension. What once was fast and interesting became slow and mundane. I soon became a jaded fan, disliking anything not related to the main game.

But the real question is, why write about his issue now? I have one simple answer…My Pokemon Ranch. Now I won’t say that I spent money on this, as my younger brother did, although I guess I am an enabler as he used my credit card to purchase it, but any use of ten dollars would be better spent then buying this piece of garbage. Almost any VC release would be an improvement over this incredibly shallow cash in of the once great Pokemon franchise.

Gone is any sense of order or direction, replaced in favor of a Mii like interface allowing your mii-ified Pokemon to roam free within an enclosed area where they bump into each other like some sad game of Marco-Polo played entirely by the deaf and blind. If ever a video game captured the awkwardness and erratic movements of a middle school dance, “My Pokemon Ranch” would be that game.

Nintendo it is time to take a break. Go back and rethink what made Pokemon amazing. Make a new game, and give me at least one more amazing life changing experience, and I will savor it to the last drop knowing full well that it will soon be buried under the marketing machine.

-Eric Wall

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 14th, 2008 at 11:32 am and is filed under All, Nintendo. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.